I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
