I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
