She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
