why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
