oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
