Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We are all done wearing pants today
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
