I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize