is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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