Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
