it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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