Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
