Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
