He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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