they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
