I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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