just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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