another moral hangover. fuck.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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