I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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