Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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