ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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