And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize