i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
