I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
