Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
