Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize