thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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