what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
