i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize