we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We need to get me chipped asap
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
