Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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