i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize