I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
