you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
