i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
