What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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