I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
