I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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