He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
