There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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