Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
