let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
