I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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