haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
