she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
