and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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