I hate all girls vehemently.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
