well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
