Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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