I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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