so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
