Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
