I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
