The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
