This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
They took my balls.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
