SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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