Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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