Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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