Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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