Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
