I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
