We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm like, not good at living.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
