is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
