nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
