she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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