like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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