Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
