drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You pole danced in your parka.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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