Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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