I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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