about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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