it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
