isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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