I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
