just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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