I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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