i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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