Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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