but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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