His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
