she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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