They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i think i have two assholes
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
