i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
