Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
