So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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