I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
