Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize