well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize